Sunday, November 25, 2007

Breathe

I am having pretty good luck with my homemade grocery shopping bags, which I am finally remembering to take with me almost everywhere. (apparently I am having better luck than my sweet daughter-in-law has had in her local area, where the switch from 'their bag' to 'her bag' is too challenging. (Imagine the cool link I will someday learn to make to her blog at http://infiniteparentheses.blogspot.com/ here.) Honestly, some of the five bags I've made so far are kind of neat, although the others are embarrassing losers. I bought a remnant today to make one out of patterned fleece, we'll see how that goes. Someday maybe I will also learn to post photos, but don't hold your breath. You will just have to use your imagination for now.

I spent Thanksgiving knitting another baby blanket to donate at the "local" Florida hospital when I visit my friend in Cocoa Beach in the spring, because that is my excuse for visiting her. I wanted to try making my own cheese, because clearly I am more cut out to make homey things than to actually do anything really useful to conserve or contribute, and I guess we each have our own path . . . I read about making cheese in (another imagined cool link here:) Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, by Barbara Kingsolver, which I read about in another favorite blog, (tah dah, use that imagination again) http://crunchychicken.blogspot.com/ But I ran out of time and energy and never got past buying the milk. Maybe I can try to be a contented cheesemaker for Christmas, instead.

This month has not been without its challenges, but in my life as, no doubt, in yours, that's just the way it goes. I am grateful to get to take a deep breath between the times when one or another shoe drops. My mom's death was sadly anticlimactic after her troubled and volatile life, and it was a wonder and a blessing that she went so sweetly and gently when the time came. Soon after, her sweet namesake had yet another melt down, such an appropriate term. I picture a graceful, slightly exotic candle that burns down to a puddle and a fragment of wick, so unrecognizable and sad. I hope she will be able to reform herself again soon, there is still a lot of good wax there. Thankfully, she was out of the hospital by the weekend, and she was able to set aside, for the moment, her nearly 30-year old conviction that it is still my failed responsibility to give meaning to her life, and we eventually had a nice dinner. When the namesake of my mother, her bittersweet remnant, was ready to rejoin the world, I made cheesecake instead of cheese, and other exotic healthy foods, and we had a nice time after all.

The drama put everything else on hold, though, and so now I am even further behind than I was before . . . I leave for Sanibel in a week and am holding my breath hoping that things will go well enough til then to allow me to really go and breathe a bit in paradise with as little guilt as possible.

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