Thursday, June 11, 2009

Tick tock

I know someone who has had a lot of bad things happen, beaten up, raped, abandoned, homeless. But she lived through it and, although she is sometimes a little inflexible and holds herself back from many things, I think, for the most part, and from what I can see, that she is strong and compassionate.

I know someone else who has had a lot of bad things happen, beaten up, raped, abandoned, homeless. She was broken into a zillion pieces and, like humpty dumpty, was never put back together again. She is compassionate for the most part, but she is unbearably fragile.


What I know is that it is a very hard life for many people, and that some of them come through crisis better than others. What I don't know is, what makes the difference?

4 comments:

Tootie said...

It would be great if we could figure that out and cure it. Do you think it is as simple as how much confidence we acquire when growing up?

ChrisC and JonJ said...

I've always wondered that myself.Why do two people,with the exact same background,face life differently?Hell if I know,but I'd sure like to find out.

gpc said...

I sure don't know the answer. Neither of the people I'm thinking of seems especially confident, which is maybe not surprising -- I think confidence comes from success as much as anything, and hard to believe that bad experiences can foster that. I used to think that resilience was linked to intelligence, but again, the people I'm thinking of seem pretty evenly matched. I doubt that the answer is genetic, because we all know families where some members are messed up and others are steady as rocks. I wish someone would figure it out, it seems to me that it would be a change-the-world kind of answer.

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