Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Labor pains

It's been 9 months since I was laid off without notice from the job I did, the only thing I knew how to do, for over 22 years.    I am only starting to realize how numb I've been, how shaken by the loss of my life-pattern.   By the corporate judgment on something I thought I did well.   And I am only now starting to feel a tiny little itch, a minuscule desire to 'do' something again.    It would be wonderful if this feeling portends the beginning of some new life.    But even so, at best, I wonder how many years I will have to wait for it to grow into something recognizable?   In too many ways, there is nothing new about this feeling.   My job always felt like something to do until I figured out what my Real Life would be, just as Dr. Cranky always felt like someone to take care of until my Real Relationship came along.    And here I am, decades later, discovering that nothing has changed except that I am decades older.

2 comments:

Tricia said...

I recently applied for a part time job with a non-profit as a Domestic Violence Advocate. It is not in my career field but I have volunteer work that applies. I know it will pay a fraction of what I used to make and yet I would be making a difference and it would fit into my life.

I find I want this job more than anything right now. Just to convince them that someone with an MBA and 18 years of marketing experience would be happy making $10 an hour?

gpc said...

Tricia, how interesting -- I also recently applied for a part-time position as a victim advocate! I am not sure I want it as badly as you do, but I certainly agree about the satisfaction being worth more than a job with a much bigger salary. Good luck, I hope you get your job!