Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Material Girl

I have been poor, seriously poor.    Not, I'm sad to say, as poor as my daughter is, but very poor for a person who had a college degree and always had a job and didn't use drugs.    I lived in my car for a year after my father died, I faced fear and hunger and cold, and I carried the lessons of those years when I was back on firm footing.    I was frugal, I reused and did without, I knew that Things were not the answer to happiness, but that a thick pair of socks and a pot of hot soup could make all the difference.     Being dry and warm was a luxury I treasured.   As time went by I could have afforded more because I had a decent job, but I had no sense of need, and much of my money went to support my daughter and others who were less able to fend for themselves.

And now I have no job.   And, truly, I have no needs.    But it is now that suddenly, without explanation, I have decided to want and want and want.     My own self-discipline has, in the past, gotten me through these episodes of yearning.    But this time, for no reason I can see, self-discipline is out the window and my sister has convinced me that I need to take a different path because, she reminds me often, Daylight is Burning.

And so I've bought a car, even though my 1997 vehicle with 240,000 miles was still running.   And I'm planning a trip to Florida.   And I'm thinking about another trip to Alaska.    And I am obsessing over an iPod touch.    My sister says I need it,  I like the idea of not having to pack and protect my laptop when I'm going places, and I like the idea of going places while I still can.    Because of what I know, and who I am, and the income I am living on,  I am trying to do what I consider the Right Thing, and I am trying not to buy that iPod.  But today I am not trying very hard.

4 comments:

Francie...The Scented Cottage Studio said...

Darlin' buy that thing... you need to start living now because ... umm welll now is IT. At least in this world. You definitely can not take it with you and in all likelihood whoever you leave it to will squander it and not appreciate it.
I truly wish my parents had spent what they had doing things they would enjoy.
Have a good Thanksgiving ... and go be nice to yourself.
(())

Don said...

Gail,

YOLO

You
Only
Live
Once

I got the above from a shop on Captiva. I believe it is the name of their business. They sell a sticker withe this printed on it. I have it on the back window of my car so I see it every time I look in my rear view mirror. While I don't think you can go crazy, you have to live too because you only get one shot at it.

Debbie V. said...

I know what you mean about the struggle between doing what you believe is the right thing and just following your desires. But to me it sounds like these are things that will make your life simpler and safer. Maybe there are some other ways you can come up with the money to pay for them?

Lynn@ The Vintage Nest said...

I think Black Friday might be your special day. There's an iPod out there with your name on it. :)