Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Such a Job
My job is so strange, I don't know how to process most of what I do. The feedback from families is that I am a peaceful presence, that I provide calm at a time when they are frantic, that I renew their faith at the time of loss. They are embarrassing in their praise of me. (Dr. Cranky rightly points out that they feel that way because they are desperate, and I am the only one there, which pretty much sums it up.) Although my work with them comes very naturally and easily, I often feel like a hypocrite. I think they would not recognize the Real Me. At work, I am a projection of their own faith, their own core values. I want a way to show them that when they let me into this sacred space and convince themselves that help has come in, they are actually seeing a reflection of their own strength, already there. They say they are comforted by my prayers, but don't recognize that I am only praying out loud the things they've already expressed. After their loved one dies, when they walk out of here alone, I want them to know that they are enough, that they take everything they need with them.