Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Getting Old Is Like Watching Turner Classic Movies

I know, I've been moody lately.   But heck, I spent the last couple days sitting with people as they died and presiding at a funeral.     It's moody work and, as you might imagine, we tend to lighten things up when we can.    So I was joking with a coworker today who asked me if I ever considered leaving my job.    Are you kidding, I responded.    I start looking for the exit the minute a relationship begins.    I was JOKING.   But then, of course, the light moment passed, and I was left to wonder about what I had just said.    And I replayed another old movie in my head.

When I was a little girl, I was told that someday I might come home from school and no one would be there because all the good people in the world would have been swept up in The Rapture.   And that I, no question, would be left behind because (for reasons I am still not clear on) I was not a good girl.

No complaints.    The emotional independence that I gained early on, preparing to be left behind, has served me well in many ways.      I know where the exit is.    I am ready to stand on my own if I have to.    But seriously, could I take a few minutes now to relax?

2 comments:

Emily@theNest said...

Gail, I can't believe anyone would say that to a child!!! That really is something that would stick like glue :(
On a lighter note, I have an awful case of inappropriate laughing at funerals... verging on total hysteria, so I think you are well deserving of being moody- It's a really tough thing to be surrounded by death and sadness like that. Great joy to you over the coming weeks xxxx

Deb said...

It sounds like your childhood has left many scars. I find it sad that anyone would say that to a child. We have never met except online and I find you to be a caring, loving mother and person. You deal with the grief of dying, whether it is with the family or the person them self, it takes a very special person to be able to do that.