A friend of mine posted today this quote by Hafiz: “Learn to recognize the counterfeit coins that may buy you just a moment of pleasure, But then drag you for days like a broken man behind a farting camel.”
Already this has been one of those days filled with troubles that I can't change, and where one minor consideration -- the belief that I spend way too much money on 'counterfeit' pleasures -- ends up taking over my mind. I just learned that I will owe on my 2011 income tax. While doing those taxes, I discovered that, through a transcription error, I underpaid my 2011 summer property tax by about $100 and, with penalties and interest, now owe nearly $500. I can't find my auto proof of insurance -- what the heck? -- and so I am worried about being stopped and fined before I get another copy. Not insignificantly, I also learned that my daughter has some troubles that I would like to support her through and I may choose to make a (very) quick (and yes, expensive) trip to NOLA. To enhance my web of self-criticism and guilt, of course, just yesterday I sent in the money for a beginners fly fishing school as part of this year's resolution to make it or break it in the fishing sport. Of course, my main emotion is concern about my daughter, but as usual, I've turned the whole thing around and am worrying instead about the fly fishing, as if her difficulties and the extra expenses are a punishment for spending on myself. I kind of admire the way my mind has created a diversion to keep me from thinking about the bigger problems so that, instead of considering that I may be a 'broken man,' I find myself complaining about the camel.
I wonder, does that make an optimist?