Tuesday, May 1, 2012
What DO I want?
A couple of people recently have remarked, with various degrees of kindness, that I have spent much of my life yearning for something I do not have. One of them suggested, " Risk making a mistake - do something you really want to do." Which caused me to ask in response, "what DO I want to do?"
I don't think I'm alone in this. Life is full of opportunities and obligations. So many opportunities that it is hard to choose, and many of us -- me, for instance -- end up making the choice by indecision and accident. Then, at some point, the obligations of daily life crowd out the dreams of opportunity. But as we get older, things shift again. In my life, I am out of school, several times. There are no small kids left at home. No one to help with homework or to help through school. No dog, even. So there are no excuses for not pursuing my dreams, except that I lost them somewhere along the way. I love Sanibel, but I don't want to be away from my family, even though I am away from them most of the time, despite living down the street. I would like to travel, but traveling alone has limited charm, and - except for my busy sister and my son's even busier family - there is no one I really want to travel with. In other words, there is an excuse against every possible dream. And I wonder, does that mean that I am already living the perfect life, or that I have not yet dreamed the perfect dream?
What I do know is that, as my sister reminds me much too often, daylight's burning. It's time to take a risk and do something I really want to do.
As soon as I figure out what that is.