After a couple of months, Mr. Might-Be-Wonderful turned into Mr. Let's-Be-Friends -- either a classic kiss off or the honest beginning of a new friendship, and I'll live with it either way. We are none of us so elastic as we get older, and the meet 'n' greet sure gets harder. I suggested that if he really wants to be friends, he could think of someone to introduce me to, lol; I hope that wasn't snarky because he doesn't deserve that. He's a good guy, I am very glad I met him, and it was good to be reminded how much fun the simplest things can be when you do them with someone. I hope those lessons will make me more open to new adventures and relationships now, because I have closed myself in for too long and life is only getting shorter. After a lot of years alone, I was able to convince myself that alone was okay with me and so this has shaken me a bit. I am a little quirky and the men who interest me are few and far between, so I'm not going to hold my breath, but I plan to make a good faith effort. And if I were to end up with no partner but a few new friends along the way, I would chalk it up as good.
I am learning new lessons every week at my job, although I am also wondering more often how long I will want to stay there. As with many jobs, there are organizational irritations that can make a difficult job more difficult. And increasingly, I am not sure how much more sadness I want to invite into my life; enough of it finds its way to our doors already.
My de-cluttering project is still moving forward. I started a few craft projects and they seem to pull in the opposite direction, so the progress isn't apparent to anyone but me, but I did empty one closet and I've sorted some stuff in the basement. I am trying to begin by being more mindful about what I do and do not want and need. No one needs the space at the moment, so I am not going to stress about it, but I'd like to have the house in better order by the end of the year.
So I have no complaints about January, but can't wait to see how February goes. I'm starting the month by going to a FlyGirls retreat about three hours from home, where I plan to drink a lot of wine, hopefully get a massage, tie fishing flies, eat like crazy, and (if I don't chicken out) climb a rock wall. Perhaps I really am going off the deep end after all! I know for sure that I will benefit from some distraction and a little me-time to help me shake off the disappointments of the last month. I'll post about it if I survive, and of course I intend to survive. I am still absolutely certain that this will be the Best Year Ever, if only because it's the year I'm privileged to be living.