Saturday, March 16, 2013

Marching On

This has not been the best week in the Best Year Ever, but there has been plenty to learn.

I broke a tooth, and had the anxiety of waiting for my local dentist to fit me in.   It took him a LOT longer than I thought it should, and I wonder if I should think about looking for another provider.    My former dentist would have considered a broken tooth something of an emergency, and the new guy made me wait over a week to see him.    Still, once he saw me and made an appointment to put in a crown, I was the one who had to cancel, lol.

I (unfairly) feel like my Friend has given up on my learning Code because he no longer offers to quiz or practice with me.    That's a loss, but not a disaster, because I haven't given up on myself and continue to practice every day, several times a day.    My progress is a lot slower than I wish, but I am definitely making progress.    I know too that that I am characterizing him unfairly, and that the sheer terror I brought to every practice session has a lot to do with his hesitation.    It is entirely likely that he has chosen not to inflict what looks like pain on me and will be happy to quiz me if I ask.     I also know that I'll need to work with another person to get good at this -- kind of hard to do radio if you won't let anyone hear you --  but want to get Good Enough before I try.    It has been an interesting lesson to me, how frightened I am to fail.    As I've said, I practice every day and, although I am not even close to getting good, I do made progress; and yet, when he sends me a message, my mind takes flight and I absolutely panic.   It takes me many times longer to decode a real message than to do the practice work.    I can't help but laugh at myself.

I also studied on my own for the radio exam since the sheer width and breadth of my ignorance made me hesitate to ask anyone to "walk me through it," as my Friend suggested.    Again, despite my complete and total lack of understanding or training in capacitors and inductors and amperes and a variety of algebraic formulas, I made good (if slow) progress and took the Technician exam today.    After I passed it, they let me take the next level test, which I had not studied for at all.   I missed passing the General exam by only one question -- if I'd known how close I'd get, I would have fit in some extra study time, for sure!    I love the feeling of having conquered something absolutely new to me.   I am still not sure where any of this will lead, but for once the destination is NOT the point for me.    I'm having fun learning things that might be useless.   And bonus, by next week I'll have my own call sign.    Who doesn't love an alias?!

I plan to start sewing a baby gift this week -- I hope I hope I hope I will, anyway.   The baby was born last weekend.     I had my project all ready to go when I learned that the mama changed the colors in her nursery, so I had to start over again with new fabric.  I'm bad enough at starting things, having to restart them is a real challenge!

One of my patients this week is a baby, too, thankfully a relatively rare event in my line of work, and unbearably sad.    Maybe that is why I like lately to fill my mind with things that make no sense but are fun, to balance the many things I see that make no sense, and are not.

3 comments:

Kim@Snug Harbor said...

Good for you for sticking at it.

Barbara said...

You are wise to find fun distractions from your work. Congratulations on your exam.

Gayle said...

It must be difficult to leave work at work. I can't imagine.

Good for you for sticking this through. And when you master it I'm curious to see the next big adventure in The Best Year Ever!