Sunday, June 16, 2013

Always Jumping

I make mistakes. I jump to conclusions, rarely good ones. I understand that this is a human characteristic and that I am not, cannot expect to be perfect.  What I find harder to understand is that I jump to the same conclusions, sometimes even with the same people over and over and over again, even when I repeatedly discover that I was wrong.   Over and over I find myself believing, reacting, mourning even, some slight, some insult, some betrayal, only to discover over and over that it never happened.  That I have, again, misunderstood.   Somehow, the dishonest relationships of the past insinuate themselves into the relationships of the present, convincing me that this friend, this acquaintance, this coworker, will behave, has behaved, the same as someone in my past.   And later I realize that if my feelings were hurt, it was my own fears that hurt them, and not the friend at all.  I am reminded, again, how important it is to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but it is a constant struggle for me to give people the freedom to actually betray me, or not, without jumping to that conclusion on my own.

4 comments:

Kim@Snug Harbor said...

Don't feel bad as this is a common trait. My daughter is having the same issue and I keep telling her she is going to ruin a good thing before it gets a chance to get off the ground, because she is blaming this guy for stuff he hasn't done, based on her negative experiences with past boyfriends.

This attitude applies to just "friend" relationships as well, and isn't limited to boyfriend/girlfriend instances. You know what I mean. I think its human nature for many people. At least you recognize it and try to adjust for it. :-)

Grandma Yellow Hair said...

Don't be too hard on yourself chances are the friend your speaking of has done the very same thing.
I know it does not help you feel any better knowing that half the world makes this mistake every day because of our past relationships.
Myself included! One of my main reasons I have not tried to date after my divorce was fear of making too many false judgements but I see now that being alone is worse so hang in there we still love you.
Love
Maggie

yandedy nur said...

Keep Spirit my friend !!! :)
^_^

spindelmaker said...

This is food for thought. I totally recognize myself in what you´re saying.
Congrats on your new Mac! :-)