Friday, January 14, 2011

Say what???

I've been living in my new community for a little more than a year.    Some things are different.   There is less traffic, there are fewer stores (although still more than plenty).    There is a lot more open space, the farmers market is more convenient.   But there are also differences in communal attitude that are hard to put a finger on.  

Two things in particular have struck me as SO different that I just had to laugh.    For one thing, the only mention of guns at my old neighborhood was in relation to crime.    Up here, there's a commercial for a gun shop on TV and the slogan is, 'If a man don't hunt, don't trust him."     I laugh out loud every time I hear it.   (I also go there to shoot.)

But this one took the cake.    Just this week, I got several fliers for community ed classes.    I am in the market for a class, so I read them cover to cover.    In one little booklet of "creative classes," in a section titled "Wellness, right after Tai Chi and Yoga, I found this listing:

Would you like to surprise your Valentine with a fun present of your own: a fun, flirty and completely unforgettable lap dance?  "

The class description goes on to explain that this 90 session will teach "the basics of giving a luscious lap dance," and that each participant will be give a "written breakdown so you can practice and perfect your dance at home."    $35.

Seriously?    Lap dancing instruction in there with "watercolor workshop" and "beginning drawing"?    Should I be horrified?    Should I wish I'd seen this years ago? -- maybe if I'd taken this class instead of getting those silly degrees, I'd have a lap to dance in.    Should I ask them to send this booklet in a plain wrapper?

Sorry, my mental picture of that class, with me in it, makes me want to laugh until I wet my pants.   Excuse me for a minute, I think I'll go do that.

No wait, I just got a better look at my mental picture.    Not funny at all.    


sue in mexico mo said...

OMG! That is funny. Distrubing, but funny. (90 minutes?) Wow!

Anonymous said...

That's hilarious...I am still chuckling. Out here in the country, where I live, it's nothing to hear gunshots all the time. If I had heard it when I lived in a city suburb I would have surely called the police. :)

Kaybe said...

Too funny. I think I would stick with the caligraphy class.

Take good care,


Leo said...

That is very funny. That is something you would see here in Miami. And they would have a demo photo accompanying the advertisement.

Cherry Chick said...

I hear those lap dance girls make pretty good $$$$ here in Tampa. Just stay clear of the drugs is what I, also, No need to spend your $$$ as soon as you make