Say what???

I've been living in my new community for a little more than a year.    Some things are different.   There is less traffic, there are fewer stores (although still more than plenty).    There is a lot more open space, the farmers market is more convenient.   But there are also differences in communal attitude that are hard to put a finger on.  

Two things in particular have struck me as SO different that I just had to laugh.    For one thing, the only mention of guns at my old neighborhood was in relation to crime.    Up here, there's a commercial for a gun shop on TV and the slogan is, 'If a man don't hunt, don't trust him."     I laugh out loud every time I hear it.   (I also go there to shoot.)

But this one took the cake.    Just this week, I got several fliers for community ed classes.    I am in the market for a class, so I read them cover to cover.    In one little booklet of "creative classes," in a section titled "Wellness, right after Tai Chi and Yoga, I found this listing:

"LEARN A VALENTINE DANCE FOR YOUR SWEETHEART
Would you like to surprise your Valentine with a fun present of your own: a fun, flirty and completely unforgettable lap dance?  "

The class description goes on to explain that this 90 session will teach "the basics of giving a luscious lap dance," and that each participant will be give a "written breakdown so you can practice and perfect your dance at home."    $35.

Seriously?    Lap dancing instruction in there with "watercolor workshop" and "beginning drawing"?    Should I be horrified?    Should I wish I'd seen this years ago? -- maybe if I'd taken this class instead of getting those silly degrees, I'd have a lap to dance in.    Should I ask them to send this booklet in a plain wrapper?

Sorry, my mental picture of that class, with me in it, makes me want to laugh until I wet my pants.   Excuse me for a minute, I think I'll go do that.

No wait, I just got a better look at my mental picture.    Not funny at all.