Monday, February 17, 2014

February Nothings

Not a lot is new in my world.   Valentine's Day is pretty much meaningless to me, since I have no Sweetie.     A friend and my daughter both called me to wish me a happy Valentine's Day, which was more than I'd expected from the day and very nice.   

Work continues, with the usual and sometimes unusual sadness.   One man, about my age, wanted me to sit and hold his hand last week and that always breaks my heart.   I wanted him to have someone there who loved him, although I probably loved him more than he would have guessed.    And one couple admitted to me how distant they felt from one another during this dying process, and we were able to talk about that and come up with some ideas for how to bridge the gap -- most of my patients don't know I'm single but if they did, they might find it ironic how quick I am to tell people to crawl into bed or onto the couch together and just hold one another.    I tell them to have their hands on each other every second of the day, no matter what else they are doing, because I know how much they will miss that touch down the road.    They always look so surprised, although the men often start to grin.  

I married another couple over the weekend, always fun to do.  This couple gave me a rose to wear on my robe, which is something no other couple has ever done for me.   So sweet.    Young love.  :)
And I got a pedicure -- loved every second, until I had to go out in the snow in my flip flops.   What was I thinking?!
One fly in the ointment of life is coming from a subcommittee I'm working on for a volunteer group.     I was asked to be on the committee in order to create a specific proposal where my legal experience was needed -- it wasn't my idea -- and I thought we had completed our mission when we unanimously voted to present a proposal to the Board.    The Board is set to vote this week, but yesterday the subcommittee Chair sent an email to the four of us saying that he thought we should redo the whole thing because he's had second thoughts and he's worried that two of the members (we are a 70-member group) won't like it.   I responded to our little committee that I thought the Board should vote on it as is since we had already presented it to them.  If they vote no, we'll know it needs to be redone.   He then responded, not only to the subcommittee but to the whole Board, chastising me for speaking up and pointing out several times that he is the Chairman and I am not.    We have a meeting set for tonight -- where he wants to revisit the proposal -- and I've decided that I'm busy.   The other three people on the subcommittee are all Board members and so they can do what they want with the issue.  I can't see much point in my being there if my opinion on even small disagreements was so unwelcome.   The funny thing is how much this hurt my feelings, for reasons I don't really understand.   I found myself actually crying in my sleep and more than once the tears have started again today.    What a big baby I've turned out to be.    I don't plan to quit, certainly not over one bully, but I think I'll take some time to lick my wounds a bit before I return.   

Glad I at least have pretty toes.    They always cheer me up.


Kim@Snug Harbor said...

Ok, I just have to say this - what the crap is MR. Chairman thinking????? He's basically saying "Voice your opinion as long as it agrees with mine, but if not, then shut up." How rude. I don't blame you for getting your feelings hurt, but heck Gail, don't be hurt, be mad. :-)

That said, I loved your post, especially your great advice about touching and holding those you love. You almost made me cry. Wonderful advice!!

Barbara said...

Sometimes I think we need to have a good cry. Tears can cleanse sadness we can't even name. No reason necessary.

StitchinByTheLake said...

Sometimes a time apart clarifies things. It always amazes me when someone gives an opinion but then says others shouldn't. Human nature is contradictory in many ways. I used to go to a big quilt guild and loved every moment of it. When I first went it was more like a quilting bee - lots of learning, laughter, visiting. One person kept bringing up rules and wanting to add things to the constitution and do this/don't do that. It became so businesslike that I ended up withdrawing. I have found at this time of my life I like being in control of the way I spend my time - or not spending it as the case may be. :) blessings, marlene