Sunday, September 23, 2018

Checking In & Whining

My goodness, I am amazed at how much work there is in planning the smallest, simplest wedding.   We are only inviting family, and only family members who live close by, at that  -- we will have a second, much larger celebration after the Michigan wedding in Illinois, where the bulk of my fiancĂ©'s family will gather -- so fewer than 40 people are expected.  We are far too small a group to justify the large halls that are nearby, and many of the smaller venues had a minimum of 50 people.  It is not a big group, but it is too many people to mingle comfortably in either of our houses.   The challenge was unexpected -- it took us 7 weeks to find and lock down a venue -- but we finally jumped that hurdle this week.

And now I need to find a dress.  I know many women who shop, and who dress, and who are lovely.   I am not that woman.   It was my stated intention to never wear anything again, now that I am retired, except jeans and t-shirts.   And yet here I am.   My beloved is not on board with my suggestion that I wear jeans and a t-shirt that states "BRIDE" on the chest.   And since he will be wearing kilts, I will not wear pants.  So I have been shopping myself into a panic.   

This chore is not as easy as you might think.  I am nearly 70, short, not in the best shape of my life, formed something like a cantaloupe or at least a roma tomato, with arms that no one needs to see bare, and nothing nothing nothing looks good on me.  I will not wear white and probably should not wear black or navy, my go-to colors.    And anyway,  nothing nothing nothing looks bridal on this body.   

Our guests are a casual group, only one or two of them are likely to even own a suit, but even if our invitations didn't say "business casual/daytime," I would not be inclined to wear the full ballgowns that my sister favors, although I recognize (having been told repeatedly) that I am allowed to be more formally dressed than our guests. I don't help the process, I guess, because I don't want long, don't want short, don't want sparkle, but don't want to disappoint my groom, either, by not dressing the part to the best of my ability.   I will not admit to anyone how may dresses I've tried on,  or how much I've spent on ordering and returning internet purchases, and so far all to no avail.   

I think I've tried really hard to find something, but now I need to try harder, because now we've set a date -- December 8 -- and the invitations have been mailed.  We are starting to work on the ceremony and have talked to the officiant.   It's getting real, y'all, and I need to find something to wear.     Yes, I know that this is a silly and fortunate problem to have.  I am so very lucky, and we are happy and excited . . .  but I can't help but wonder, just a bit, if I should have talked him into a courthouse wedding before we got this snowball rolling!