Monday, March 31, 2008

Down the rabbit hole . . .

I have written several entries since my last one, but each of them seemed so whiney on review that I decided not to post them. Every time I shake off (or set aside) the stress of one thing, another one plops in the take its place. Not for the first time, I’m on the edges of a soap opera that is not of my making and out of my control. But I am sick of my own complaints, so it’s hardly fair to inflict them on others. When I get a minute, I’ll make a list of all the things that make the rest of it worthwhile.

Monday, March 10, 2008

And what does this have to do with the environment?

A message from Mr. Cranky on my voicemail today, saying how delicous my soup was, and how much he appreciated my taking him out this weekend to buy ink and installing it in his printer. Butter couldn't melt in his mouth, as they used to say. And of course this involves the environment! If I can't fix my own environment, what hope is there for the planet?!

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Anger Management

There is a man, who I used to be 'involved' with, and was just about to break off with when he got very sick. We can call him Mr. Cranky, although he would prefer DOCTOR Cranky. He is very possessive of his PhD. It's a long story, but I continue to take him to doctor appointments, to bring him food, and to get him out of the house several times a week. I even feel guilty when I can't go to help for a few days in a row. This weekend I got his medications ready for the next week, cooked him a pot of soup, and drove him on several errands. He is old (about ten years older than he admitted to me when we were a couple), and sick (4 cardiologists told me he would be dead within the month . . . three years ago), and nearly blind, so I would feel surly to dump him altogether.

Tonight he wanted me to drive him to a nice little trattoria because, he said, he wanted to buy me a nice, relaxing dinner with a glass of wine. Sounds good, said I. I dropped him at the door, parked the car a block away, and slogged back to the restaurant. When I got inside, he had been seated, and there was a strolling musician at the next table, singing 'Fly Me To The Moon' to a smiling couple. I no sooner sat down than Mr. Cranky shouted, above the music, "[Lord's name in vain!], that [expletive] music is so [expletive] loud!" I shushed him and he sat quietly making dramatic faces to express his displeasure. No problem, I am not a stranger to drama.

As soon as the music stopped, though, he turned to the musician and said loudly loudly loudly that the music was TOO LOUD, that the musician's voice was FLAT, that he had never heard such [expletive] in his life, and the restaurant had clearly gone to [expletive]. The musician said something pleasant and strolled away. We had not yet ordered. The diners at each and every table (I did not imagine this) were looking our way, and the young busboys who should have been bringing bread were lined up against the wall wondering which of them would draw the short straw. I told Mr. Cranky quietly that I would wait in the car for him because it would be a shame for him to spend money on a dinner I could not enjoy.

He came out to the car a short while later and I drove him home (more or less) without comment. When he climbed out of his seat, just before he slammed the door, he turned and said, 'well, you certainly woke up on the wrong side of bed today!"

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Global Warming?

I shoveled snow for several hours this morning, finally arriving for work four hours late (and I didn’t feel much like working, either!) My photo of the TEN INCHES in my (long) driveway did not turn out, perhaps because my tape measure and the snow were both white, or perhaps because it was 4:30 a.m. when I took it. But I really don’t need a photo to keep this memory, which seems to be etched into every one of my sore muscles. I think that buckwheat wrap will come in extra handy tonight!

Monday, March 3, 2008

Life is good

I got to spend a little time with my family this weekend, and a couple of hours alone with my grandchildren, so it was a wonderful weekend for me! I love to watch the children play, they can make a game out of anything. Baby Blue is not a baby anymore, and he busied himself with my little step-stool to pretend that he was working on scaffolding. StinkerPinker was most definitely not in the pink this weekend, so she and I spend a lot of quiet time cuddling on the couch. We looked at a few of my seashells and later she told her mommy the names of the olive shell and the cockle. Good job, baby. I was a lot older than 20-months old when I learned to identify those shells! Her brother prefers to use the shells as pirate treasure or household tools, so I am eyeing her hopefully as a future shelling companion.

Another nice thing this weekend was a lovely present, from my son and Sweetie, of a buckwheat wrap to ease my still-achy breaky back. After the kids went home, I had to go out into the cold and damp to take a friend on an errand to Costco. But when I got home I took a few minutes to unwind. The buckwheat wrap (such a nice gift!) went into the microwave for two minutes and then over my shoulders, the down throw covered my legs, and I was able to sit, knit, and relax without turning up the heat. It felt sooooo good. Then I took the wrap to bed with me, to cover my lower back while I slept. A cold winter night never felt so good!