December Craft Finishes

After a long, much too lazy 2013, at least I finished a few things before Christmas.    I am pretty happy with my first rag quilt -- it isn't perfect, and I'm not sure I will use it as a gift, but I love it anyway.   I love the colors, and it is soft and warm and cozy.   If no one else wants it, I'll keep it for myself.  And I definitely plan to make more.

I also finished at least a few of the zipper bags on my list, one for my daughter (I've made several with these orange and brown fabrics because I just like them.    I filled the one for my daughter full of trial-sized make-up), one for my brother's former girlfriend (a combination of blue fabrics that I sent empty and I forgot to take a photo), and one for my chicken-loving friend who brings me eggs when 'the girls' are productive.   The chicken panel didn't work out quite as I'd hoped, but she liked it and the next one will be better, maybe.

I also made my chicken-raising friend a pot holder from the same fabrics.   She loved that, too!

And my granddaughter put in a special request for me to make Santa hats for a couple of her little stuffed dogs.     I was happy with them and so was she.

Some of the things I planned to do didn't get done, but we expected that, right?    The quilt top I had hoped to finish is not even sandwiched (but I bought material for my next quilt project, of course).    I'm okay with that because I'm not sure where the unfinished quilt will go yet, so there is still plenty of time to finish it.   And although I bought the fabric, I didn't make the sleeping bags for stuffed animals.  That decision was a choice, not a failure.   I decided that the kids are outgrowing that idea and that my time this month was better spent on other things -- like picking up the thousand or so straight pins I accidentally dumped on my sewing room floor.   Oh baby, that room is a hot mess.

The scarf I intended to finish is still on the needles -- about a trillion more rows to go.    

Another thing I did NOT make is a Noodlehead basket, although it was on my Meant-To list for 2013.  

Lucky for me, I WON one from SarahQuilts, and it is really beautiful, she is a much better sewer than I am.    I got the basket in the mail today, on Christmas Eve morning, so it was just a lovely gift and an inspiration to me to work a lot harder next year.   I would love to be able to make something so pretty as gifts . . . . next year.  :)    And Sarah even filled the basket with a beautiful assortment of scraps and remnants to get me started.    What a sweet way to encourage me to work on some projects of my own.  So the good news is that I have things to do even after the holidays and plenty of beautiful new fabric to do it with!    

End of Year Plans for the Next Beginning

Working in Hospice, I too often equate "end of year" with "end of life," and that makes me a little sad.    The road ahead looks way too short.  As my mother used to say, too soon old and too late smart, and I am feeling that lately, big time.    My brain, my courage, my emotions are just finally starting to get to where I am comfortable with them, while my body is galloping into decrepitude.     It is annoying, at the very least.    So instead of wondering what I want to do in the next year, I wonder a little bit what I still can do.    I hope I won't let those fears stop me, because it is my plan to push on, to have more Ridiculous Fun, and to have another Best Year Ever in 2014.    This year has been pretty darn good, and the biggest reason for that, I am convinced, is that I insisted on seeing the good in it.

So.   This coming year I plan to go zip lining.    I plan to target-shoot as much as I can, as often as I can find ammunition, whether or not my shooting buddies will go along.    I plan to see more movies and eat more vegetables.    I plan to spend more time being grateful for what I have than anxious about what I lack.

I plan to stop abusing my body with sugar and junk.     In 2013 I got healthier and more fit, and in 2014 I want to get healthier still.    I plan to take a chance or two in relationships, maybe.  Maybe give up a useless fantasy or two while I'm at it.   I plan to try not to send myself so many ugly hate messages, so much nasty self-talk.   It would be nice if I could be as nice to myself as I try to be to others.   

I plan to really truly seriously regularly practice my Morse Code so that I can regain and improve my skills.    I plan to go on the air weekly, starting no later than February, no matter how terrified I am of doing it.    I have a good friend who promises to stay with me like a big brother teaching a little kid to ride a two-wheeler, making sure I don't fall, so I have no excuses not to push through my fear.

I plan to try new things, eat new foods, meet new people, and experiment with new hobbies as often as the opportunity arises.   I plan to catch a fish -- surely I can finally catch a fish.

I plan to keep a promise to a friend that I will try to keep my conversation and thoughts a little less broody.   Just because I work around a lot of death doesn't mean that I need to bring my work home to my friends.    I will try to journal a little more and perhaps share a little less.

I plan to get more pedicures.

And last but not least, I plan to get some crafting and sewing mojo on.   Barbara at Cat Patches has set up a challenge to encourage us to plan for next year's NewFOs, projects to start and hopefully finish (or at least agonize over) in 2014.    She is even offering prizes!   Most of the people who are linking up are serious sewers and quilters, and I have no plans to be anything but a slacker.   But since I am in a planning mood, I plan to quilt the zig zag quilt-top I pieced in 2013.   I plan to make a crib-sized rag quilt in case my friend's child gets pregnant, as we all hope.   I plan to make rag quilts for my grands, too, because they are so cozy that I just love them and so easy that there's no reason not to.    I plan to finish the scarf I started this month, maybe by next Christmas.    I love my little zipper bags and I plan to try a bigger bag or two. 

This has been a very good year.    And next year is going to be just as good.    It's again going to be the Best Year Ever.    And maybe,  just maybe, I will follow through on a few of my plans.

Finished and Unfinished

I dreaded my birthday, but it ended up being just fine, as always.    First of all, I found 700 rounds of ammunition after months of not finding any at all -- this was a wonderful birthday gift, and will make it possible for me to target shoot a couple of times this month!    And then my kids took me out to dinner!    They gave me the cutest ever birthday gifts --  a stuffed wolf who eats the grandma (who can then be rescued by 'cutting' open the wolf's belly.   Since my blog is called Shedding the Wolf, and since I am a Grandma, it was the perfect present.  :)    [You can read about the idea behind my blog's name here.]  

They also gave me some beautiful paintings by a couple of up and coming local artists who I have admired for some time -- in other words, my grandchildren.   I love them!

My birthday has always been the symbolic beginning of the Christmas season for me, and most years I have had most of my gifts well in hand by now.   Not this year.   Maybe I've been too busy having fun!   I had planned all year to sew a bunch of stuff for Christmas but I only started last week.  Where has the time gone?!   I don't even have all the materials on hand yet, so I'm not holding out a whole lot of hope that my original plans will come to fruition.     So my list of UFOs I intend to finish this month is a little limited by lack of time and poor planning.     I definitely want to finish my rag quilt, whether it turns out well enough to be a gift or not.   I am using Boundary Waters flannel by Moda, which I absolutely love.    I arranged the squares and sewed the strips together but ran out of thread, so I need to get shopping before I can go any further.    I have another quilt top I had also hoped to finish, but there's no way I can get it done be Christmas because I have to work and will be out of town for a week, too.

I also need to finish a few zipper pouches for my daughters and a friend.   Like these, but with fabrics chosen for them, fabrics I haven't purchased yet.    I need to get to JoAnn's soon!     

Finally, I am hoping to make a couple of sleeping bags for the Grands' stuffed animals.    I think they would make a fun addition to sleepovers!  Well that settles it -- no more time to blog.   I need to get to work!

Grateful

I am so lucky in so many ways.     I have a sad enough past to be truly blessed to have moved beyond it.   I live alone and am not crazy about that, but I know enough to know that living with someone can be even worse.    I have a good education, a lovely family, a job, and pretty good health.   I have enough money to get what I need, but not so much to take away my pleasure at little things.    I have long lists of things to do that keep me busy, including my fly tying and my first ever rag quilt-in-progress.

I had a non-traditional Thanksgiving, shooting with a friend, playing a dice game with him and his son, eating the worst thrown-together meal ever.   

Imagine cream of mushroom soup accidentally cooked with french vanilla creamer and mixed with hamburger.    Oh gag.    

I begged him to let me cook from now one.    My pecan pie only added to the too-sweet experience, but we laughed about it all.   My son's family will come on Sunday and we will have the usual turkey and dressing and all.   Hopefully that will banish the remembered taste of french vanilla beef.

Today is my house cleaning day and I have, not to my surprise, done everything I can think of but clean.    I have a dozen half done projects spread throughout the house, and a bunch of cooking-adventures-in-process on the kitchen stove and counters.    It is the last day in my life to be 63, and I am not a happy camper, so not inclined to be too tough on myself today.    This is a good day to start a gratitude jar.  Life is good, and worrying about it being too short does nothing to make it better.

Quince

My cooking adventure this week was Quince -- something I'd heard of but never tasted.    I heard a piece about the fruit on NPR, and so did a friend, so we discussed it and both thought it would be fun to try.   So when I saw it at my local supermarket, I bought a dozen (despite the considerable expense!) and went to work.

The fruit is hard and dry when it is raw, with a very woody inner core.   But it softened nicely after cooking for nearly an hour.   I made half of the quinces into paste, and the other half into sauce.    I spent hours -- yes, hours -- stirring the steamy pot at the stove and, since I didn't start with very many fruit, I also didn't end up with much to show.   Four small jars of sauce, to be exact, and a small log of paste.

 

So it was a lot of work and, I thought, not worth it.   Until I tasted it.   This stuff is good!    The sauce was okay, like applesauce but tasting a little like a combination of pear and apple, only better.   But the paste, which is more intensely flavored, is my favorite --  absolutely delicious.   I've been eating small cubes of it with cheese and nuts, and can't wait to try dipping little squares into dark chocolate.   I gave a slice to my son's family, ate a (couple of) slice(s) myself, and am trying to save the rest until my friend can come over for dinner so that I can share the experience.     Don't you just love trying and cooking with new foods?!     I know I do.  :)

First Snow

It snowed last night.    It has snowed a few times already, but this time it seems to be staying on the ground and there is more snow in the forecast.     A clear signal that this year is coming to an end.     This was my self-declared Best Year Ever, and it has been a fun and good one, overall.   I came close to love -- or at least, I had a lot of fun and came close to feeling like I had a shot at it again, although that feeling sort of slipped away again, at least on the part of one of us.   Still, what a gift.  I had forgotten how much I love that feeling of promise, that hope that someone might care as much as you do.     I learned and tried a bunch of new things -- amateur radio, Morse Code, search and rescue -- and I was reminded that learning and trying new things is absolutely deliriously delightful.    I made a bunch of crafty projects, and even got a little better at some of my crafty skills, including putting in zippers, tying flies, and basic quilting.   I learned a lot from the people I work with and for in Hospice.   They reminded me over and over (and over) again to keep my heart and mind open.  I spent time fishing and target shooting and walking and training.    No regrets.

At the same time, I started to feel old.  Really old.   Like a building that still shows the lines of what it once was, but now peeling and probably damaged beyond repair.    I am pushing my body, but nothing about it is effortless anymore, and I am always aware that it hurts.   I remain foolishly hopeful for love some of the time, but my wrinkles jeer back at me like an overdue expiration date.    Worse, the decrepitude is making me feel self conscious, and it is never good to be wondering how you look, if your turkey chin is showing, when you are trying to relate to people.     It's a mixed time of life, I feel better mentally and emotionally than I ever have, and just wish I had the time and energy to take full advantage of it.  

But for sure I am thankful for many things.      I am thankful for good friends, for warm hugs, for healthy children and grandchildren.   I am grateful to be learning new things, both for the opportunities and for the discovery that I am still capable of learning.   I am thankful for the basic comforts of life, the warm house and utilities, for too much food where my biggest problem is choosing what to eat, not whether to eat.    I am thankful to be healthy enough to complain when I don't feel as good as I wish.   I am thankful for aching feet and a tired back that remind me that I need to get off the couch and keep moving.    I am thankful that I have enough money to be comfortable, but not so much that I don't appreciate little luxuries.    Life is good, and if this has been the Best Year Ever, I am already daring to hope that next year will be even better.

The weekend is nearing to an end, and it's been a hectic couple of weeks  -- it's funny, two weekends ago I was busy busy busy at a search and rescue field training.  

Last weekend I was busy busy busy at a search and rescue classroom training, and there were tons of meetings and appointments the last two weeks at work.  We made adorable crafts in one of my grief groups, and I tied 70 flies -- with a goal of 100 -- for a charity.

I spent time with friends, drove down to see my sister, and celebrated my grandson's 9th birthday (where DOES the time go?!)   I won peanut clusters from sweet Maggie at Just Between Me and You, and ate myself silly.    In self defense I started walking again, usually only a mile or so, but one day made it to 3 miles just to try to burn off that chocolate!   I made some more zipper bags, finally pieced together a quilt top from fabric someone was throwing away, wrote letters, and practiced Morse Code.    

But today there is nothing special to do, and so I am feeling whiny and alone.    I am such a spoiled child inside myself, wanting company and amusement all the time.    I hate to have to say it, but I might finally have to break down and clean this house!