Hanging Onto The Best

This was a tough week for me with the deaths at my hospice job, and I don't really know why.    The two deaths that I was involved in were not, except for the families,  remarkable in any way, but they differed dramatically in how they affected me.    I believe I was able to offer the support the families needed, but I was emotionally more shaken than is usual for me.     This is part of my learning curve, and some of the the things I witness seem heavy with lessons that I need to unpack.    Something about this week made me feel needy and fragmented, and  I think I will be unpacking these experiences for some time to come.

My annual fly tying class started ten days ago.    I lost my voice the same day as the first class, which took a lot of pressure off me to do anything but tie, and that was not all bad.   But it seems like a friendlier-than-usual class of guys this year,  and should be fun.

I went target shooting a couple of times last week with my new shooting buddies and had a Ridiculous Amount of Fun, which is my new benchmark for what I need more of in my life.    Unfortunately, I also got beat - pretty bad -- so a lot more practice time is in order.   The big boys might have beat me, but I don't intend to be kept beat for long!    They have years of shooting experience on me but I'm a decent shot and I've beat some of them in the past with my .22.    Problem is, when we get to the 9mm round, they tend to blow me out of the water.     It's just a question of practice and that's harder to get since I don't have the larger caliber gun and only shoot one when we compete.   No worries.  I think I can win a few rounds if I can just focus, focus, focus.   

I also had a Ridiculous Amount of Fun last week in a silly game of dominoes.    I had never played before -- when we play, we just line them up and push them down! --  and it's a lot more simple than most of the games I play with my grands, but I plan to add it to my home repertoire for those (many) time when I don't want to think that hard.  

And I've been trying to walk at our local indoor track.   I don't get there every day, but I make it about five days a week, and walk a little more than a mile each time.    The big draw is the playlist on my iPhone, which I don't listen to any other time, and I'm enjoying the music and the stress release a lot.

On the crafting scene, I've definitely showed down.   I have some clutches cut and ready to put together but there was no time for sewing this week.   I might be stalling because I'm worried that I'll mess it up.   I need to start something for a friend who is having a baby in march, and I haven't even decided what to make her yet.      I did make and gift a cute little project but I forgot to take a photo, so I'll save that post until I can visit it again and snap a picture.   I DID gather up the piles of fabric that I'd strewn all over my sewing room and put them into bins, hoping that a neater work space would lead to a more organized mind -- no evidence of that so far!