Dull Days of Winter

We are settling into the gray days of Michigan winter, when every glimpse of sunshine is cause for celebration.  Maybe it seems especially dull because family is busy during the school year and, as a retired person, I don't have a schedule to keep me moving.   I really need, or at least want to create a more scheduled life for myself, and I tease myself with ideas about yoga and book clubs and sewing circles, but I am not sure yet where to find any of those things.   And, of course, we are still in moving stage, since my husband's furniture is still not here in the 'new' house.   He started again yesterday, hauling empty drawers and full boxes with no clear plan for where they will go, so what little order I had created is gone.   As the clutter steps up again, I am as guilty as he is of letting other things go, creating a snowball into chaos effect.   We will try to pull it back together today, but the quick descent into clutter will begin again tomorrow when he brings another load, until he is finally moved in and then maybe this part of the cycle can end.   People tell us to allow a year after moving to be settled, but it's too soon to tell yet when the actual beginning of that year will really be.

Since my surgery is scheduled for January 23 (despite the ongoing conflict in my mind), I have plenty of excuses to put off planning for things that would help create a pattern in my life, classes, or menus or even new furniture shopping.  An object at rest stays at rest.  As so, doing my part to support science, I do.  But my dreams lately are filled with lists of thing that should have been finished weeks ago.  

In my laziness, too, I have had too much time to brood on everything from the changes in human civility, to the deplorable lack of common sense and understanding of science, especially involving politics and climate change.   I am so lucky and warm and comfortable, with a world falling apart around me.   It is hard sometimes to know how to feel.

I did manage to do a little work in the (very messy and disorganized) sewing room.   I made a few little ornaments that went on the tree shortly before we took it down.  I put two of the little gnomes on my Grands' packages for Christmas.    My goal had been to make them for my whole family, but I felt lucky to get done what I did.   The other was a free Kimberbelle pattern, cute.

Now, although I have lots of other things I should probably be sewing (and doing) instead, I am working on a table runner for February.   It is a Sweet Pea design, one of my favorite companies for embroidery files for my machine.

It would be nice if it is finished in time for THIS February, but as you can see, I am not making a lot of demands on myself!   Besides, we don't really have a table yet . . .  we are still using the old card tables that I moved from my basement, "just in case" we might need them some day.  But this is small stuff, that hopefully we will look back at one day and laugh.  And really, if it turns out that I am eating at a card table for the rest of my life, there are worse things.

Happy 2020

I feel so fortunate, so "blessed," as many of my friends would say, as I enter 2020.  It's true that Jack came down with a terrible Man Cold at the new year, and we had no celebration other than my kissing his sweaty head and telling him happy new year, but I feel fortunate all the same.

I spent New Year's Eve as I prefer to do, with my son and much-adored daughter in law and my deeply loved Grands, eating dinner and chocolate fondue.  Being with them always makes me happy, chocolate or not.   I was sorry that Jack had to miss because he has not had time to make this the beloved tradition that it is for me.   And frankly, being with my family is easier these days, with less drama and stress, than being with his.   

Dinner was salad, roasted vegetables, and a lovely sweet and sour brisket, prepared by my daughter in law.   The fondue was the much anticipated dessert.   

The chocolate fondue tradition goes back to my own children's childhood, on a New Year's Eve when my first husband was out with friends.  My sister and her husband were doing a catering job, so I ended up home with my kids and their two sons.   I was feeling sorry for myself but wanted the night to be at least a little bit special, so I created a festive interlude with half a Hershey bar, some evaporate d milk, and a couple pieces of fruit.  That first chocolate fondue wasn't much, but the kids were delighted, and it made me laugh to see them chowing down on graham crackers and apples that they would otherwise have ignored,  just because they got to dip them in a little bit of chocolate sauce.   The tradition has continued since then and expanded into a pretty gourmet experience, as our experiments with dippers has gone off the charts.  

It is a marvel to me that what started as a pity party has become a second generation treasure.  The sauce is much richer and more sophisticated now, but the laughter hasn't changed a bit.  Fruit is still a favorite dipper, but everything from bacon to store-bought cookies and potato chips have taken a turn. It might well be my favorite night of the year.   I didn't take a single photo this year so you will have to take my word for it: it was a treat.

Since then, Jack has taken his first solo trip in the Tesla, definitely against my better judgement because of his impaired vision.  But to be fair, even though he is missing an entire field of vision since the stroke, he DID pass the eye exam required of legal drivers.   And of course the Tesla has a lot of safety features that our other cars have lacked.   I will not ride with him anytime soon, but I can hardly raise a fit about a legal driver driving a car that he has purchased and insured.   Fingers crossed for all of us.

Yes, there are flies in the ointment.  Life is not perfect.  My daughter is still in the Orleans Parish Prison, waiting for her hearing this coming Monday on probation violation and the underlying cocaine charge.   She spent her 40th birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years there.  Her biggest fault is a mental illness and the addiction she developed to try to control it.  There is lots of post-company work here at the house that Jack, still mostly in bed, and I, still partly crippled, haven't yet gotten under control.  I have heard from my surgeon, and they are ready for a phone conference about my upcoming surgery.    I will be glad to have some details, although I am still torn about the whole idea.  I am getting used to being in constant, chronic, low level pain, and hate to think of ramping it up to something worse.    Still (taking a deep breath), it would be nice to be able to do usual household chores again.   I'm trying to believe in life after prison, life after chaos, life after recovery.

So for now,  for just a little bit longer, I am enjoying life by the fire.  The tree is still up for another day or so, and we had bean and ham soup simmering on the stove today.  The Christmas leftovers are gone and Dominoes season starts this coming Sunday.   Life is not perfect, but it is still almost unbearable good.   Happy New Year.

Christmas Week

It has been another busy week, but mostly lovely.  My trees are still up and I am still enjoying them.  One little tree in the guest room, one in the entry way, the larger one in the living room, and a small ceramic tree by the downstairs fireplace.  But the presents have been distributed and company is tapering off.

On Thursday, my son's family came over for a Christmas brunch.  We had a variety of meats and cheeses and pastries, both cold and warm, and enjoyed each other's company.  I am always sorry to see them go, it is never enough time for me.  My grandson interviewed all of us for his upcoming science fair project, and he and his sister played around with their new ukuleles.  I do hope they have some fun with those!  

While we were visiting, a couple who have been Jack's friends for more than 30 years (and mine for about 7) stopped by with an unexpected housewarming gift -- this metal "H" is quite large, 28" square,"  and we are still trying to decide exactly where it should be displayed.   It is not our usual style -- a bit showy for us -- but we will find a place for it.  And for the lovely Belleek blessing wreath that Jack's sister and brother in law brought back from Ireland, also something we would not have bought for ourselves.  It is fun to see our house shaping up, with bits of each of us and the people we love.

Yesterday was the gathering of my Michigan family; my sister and brother, my son's and nephew's families.   Although we were in daily contact when our kids were small, now we get together as a group pretty rarely, only a few times a year, so this annual gathering is always a treat.  My brother spent the night last night and I was grateful for that.  He lives about an hour and a half north of us, and yesterday's family gathering was a little more than two hours south, so he drove to our house and he and Jack and I drove to my nephew's house together.  I drove our new Tesla, a trip that included a stop at a Supercharger, and managed to get us there and back with all of us, including the car, intact.   It was late when we returned home and we were all tired, so my usually stubborn brother gave in and agreed to sleep over. He is not well, otherwise I am certain he would have pushed himself on.   Now it is 6:30 a.m. and both he and my husband are still soundly sleeping, giving me a few minutes to myself, sitting under a quilt, blogging by the light of the tree and the fire.

Now that our schedule should be slowing down a bit, maybe I will find time to sew the gifts I had intended to make this year, and put them aside for next.  More likely, if I get them sewn at all, I will give them away instead of waiting.  

I love the holidays, but I admit I am ready to have a less cluttered house and a lot less cooking for a little while!   Just a short breather, before our annual New Year's Even chocolate fondue!   I hope your holidays were peaceful and bright.  :)

Crazy, Continued

It's been another crazy week.   My husband's birthday was last Sunday, and since I knew I would be busy that day, I carefully (or semi carefully) scheduled all the necessary tasks and chores around his little celebration.  The morning before his birthday, however, he got a text -- which he eventually shared with me -- saying that his daughter had decided to drive to Michigan to visit and the share his birthday and that, hurray, she would arrive at 1:30 am!  My husband was delighted and so was I, truth be told, but I had to work a little to push the long list of to-dos out of my head!    We had a lovely day.  I made puff pastries in the morning, we had Facetime with his family and his twin sister, went see Star Wars together at his request, and then we finished off the day with dinner with all his kids and a couple that he has know for probably 30 years.   A good day for all of us.  But for sure we had stayed up too late the night before, and my semi-careful task list was already beginning to erode.

My husband had ordered a new car several weeks ago and he got 3 texts that afternoon, one announcing the the car would be delivered on December 28th, one announcing that it arrive a little later, and one announcing that additional information would be forthcoming.  A fun text to get on his birthday, even if a little confusing!

The next day was the day we had chosen to celebrate Christmas with his kids.  His daughter's gifts, of course, had already been mailed to her in Washington D.C, so we were empty-handed for her.   Some of the gifts for the others had arrived and some had not, but no problem, we are not gift-focused people.  My husband, his daughter and I were just getting started cooking and getting ready for the other siblings when my husband got a text that his new car was being delivered . . . now, in just a few minutes.    His daughter and I went outside with him and sure enough, we could see the car carrier just down the street.  Quite a bit down the street, in fact -- the driver later told me that he could not park by our house before the trees were too low.

What excitement!   We spent a few minutes checking off the checklist and figuring our how to work this new contraption, and then we drove around the block, waving while my step-daughter filmed us and apparently posted it on Instagram!

Amid all the excitement, my husband's other kids and daughter in law arrived, and we enjoyed the first minutes together admiring the car and beginning to assemble the meal.   At some point, out of my presence, one member of the family took offense at something that had been said.   He stormed out of the house and did not return.   The remaining members tried to figure out what had gone wrong, with each of them saying to me at some point in the day, "Maybe it was my fault . . ."   Eventually, though, since he did not answer our calls or texts, and since there was no consensus on what had been so offensive, we carried on with a lovely dinner, fun gifts, and hours of board games and laughter before we called it a night.

Today is Christmas Eve.   The new car is not insured until the 26th since the earliest it should have arrived was the 28th.  The offended family member is still offended.   But I made banana bread, and although I did it all wrong, it tastes pretty darn good.   I didn't realize until house later when I opened the microwave that I forgot to add the melted butter to the batter!  

I also got a few errands finally done and got my monthly - rarely monthly any more - pedicure.   It feels so good.  At the moment, my husband's daughter is visiting with friends, my husband is asleep in the chair beside me in front of the fire, and I have had the space of time needed to finish a gift for him to open tomorrow -- a lovely pen wrap for his endless collection of fountain pens, and maybe something to prevent ink stains in his shirt pockets going forward.

Not a creature is stirring, and I couldn't be happier.   I hope it is peaceful and pleasant in your life, whatever you are celebrating and wherever you are doing it.

Lucky Me

Yesterday was my birthday.    It was a really lovely day, even though the end result is that I am not Older Than Dirt.   The night before I received my last November bouquet of flowers, lovely white roses.

On my Birthday morning we woke up and sat by the fire in our mish-mashed pajamas -- both of us pull together whatever collection of fleece is clean and available to sit around on chilly mornings -- and Jack made coffee since I had forgotten to set it up the night before.   I sat and sat and sat until I could sit no more, and then we went out to breakfast at the local fancy hotel, a pretty typical breakfast but a lovely setting.  From there we went to Starbucks for my free birthday hot cocoa (made with almond milk so I don't have to regret it later!) and picked up a couple other birthday freebies before returning to my chair by the fire.  While I sat, checked my Facebook greetings, and worked on our Christmas cards, Jack put up the Christmas tree (which I will think about decorating today . . . although I love it with just the lights).

We went to dinner with friends -- all of them are on some special diet or other so we waited until we got home to have a glass of wine . . . by the fire.   Just a lovely day.

But back now to the Real World.  We were awakened some time around 4 am by a falling branch as a result of last night's ice storm.  We have about 3/10 of an inch of ice and now there is snow accumulating on top of it.  Our upstairs bedroom is a little like sleeping in a tent.   We hear every turn of weather.   We love that about it . . . most of the time . . . but by the time Jack was done this morning investigating the property for damage, we were both up and any dreams of sleeping in were done.   Or at least mine are done -- I see that he is about to doze off on the couch.  Branches are still falling.  We are warm and cozy here but the power is out at his "old" house so we will need to check it a few times -- power at the other house is not expected back on until tomorrow sometime, and that is only if conditions city-wide don't get worse.   I'm hoping it's a good reminder to him that two houses are too many!

Here, I have a pot of soup simmering on the stove and my feet propped up by the fire, finally drinking that Starbucks cocoa.  Mmmmm.   Even when it isn't my birthday, I am living the good life!

Birthday Month

November is my Birthday Month and I have been plenty spoiled.   My husband has sent me fresh flowers every Friday.  The florist who delivers them laughs when she calls to ask whether I am home, and suggests we really should start meeting for coffee since we are getting to know each other so well.   Jack can't drive as a result of his stroke, and so it takes some effort for him to come up with ideas for me, especially since I want for nothing, so this has been an especially sweet gesture.  All of the flowers were beautiful, but the lilies lasted the longest and had a wonderful scent.

We are back from the family wedding at Walt Disney World, and what a wedding it was!  The young families loved it and visited all the parks.   Jack and I spent time with family, his siblings and nieces and grand nieces.  The weather was unseasonably cold, not much warmer than here in Michigan, although it returned to the 80's right after we flew home.

I saw my surgeon when we gt back.   He was duly impressed with my increased range of motion, but I still don't have much strength in my injured arm and he doesn't expect that I will unless we fix the torn muscle.  He recommended that I proceed with the surgery.   Oddly, I felt so good the day I saw him, that the news took me by surprise, although obviously it shouldn't have.  I told him I needed to think about it.    By the time I got home, I was in pain again and realized that I had been foolish, so I called his office.   I was told then that he won't be back in the office for a week and they will have to ask him then about scheduling it.  So the news is that it looks like I will have surgery -- he can't tell how much until he inserts a scope -- but the no-news is that I still don't know when.  I expect a call today or tomorrow to set that up.   My arm doesn't work like it should and my activity is definitely limited, but I don't feel bad enough to want the pain and 6 month recovery that the surgery will entail.   So this is not the result I hoped for, and I'll need to work on keeping my positive attitude, always a struggle since I am such a baby.

The papers for the sale of my Saginaw house will be signed tomorrow, the day before Thanksgiving, which is surely something to be thankful for.   I did a final walk though today, really a sweet little house.   I hope the new owners will be as happy there as I was.

Our five inches of snow have finally melted and we are back to the more normal temperatures in the 30's.  There are still a few frozen lumps in the yard of our new  house where the plows pushed the snow.  The leaves are still falling, and I haven't been able to hire anyone to do our yard clean up -- everyone is fully booked -- so Jack is working on it a little at a time.   I am not able to be much help with my shoulder injury, although it would be a huge job even for the two of us.   More snow and cold is predicted, of course, and if we aren't able to get the thick carpet of leaves up,  our spring clean-up might be a huge chore.  We knew when we bought it that this is a crazy house for us at our ages, too big and too much yard maintenance, but so far we love it.  I just need to schedule outside help earlier next year!

Busy Busy Busy

So much has gone on in the last couple of weeks -- at least it's been a lot for these two old fogies!  I have physical therapy twice a week and then do exercises at home several times a day, so that alone eats up a lot of time during the day.  Jack is still working on his 'old' house and I need to transport him back and forth, and I pick up my grandkids, 25 miles there and back, a couple times a week.  All good stuff, but time consuming.

I cannot say that I am seeing improvement with the physical therapy, but I am hoping that I am doing better than it seems.   The main aggravation is that it is still painful, and no one can tell me whether that will ever go away without surgery.   The pain is not severe, but it is constant and can be disheartening after all these months.   I have a lot of questions for the surgeon when I see him in a couple of weeks.

We have been busy, both with our constant 'moving  matters,' and with a few unexpected fun events.   It is rare for us to be out socializing, so this past weekend was a nice change of pace.   First, we attended a Halloween party -- the first I've been to . . . ever?   Jack dressed up as Jack Frost (which is to say, I painted snowflakes on his face), but carried a concealed (plastic) knife because he was a 'killing frost.'    I wore a t-shirt with the word "LIFE" on it and handed out lemons from a basket, and painted a sun and grass and a rainbow on my face.  These were my first efforts at face painting and not spectacular.   No one (except me) found my costume amusing, but Jack was mistaken for Jack the Ripper and given the award for Scariest Costume, a little 3-D skeleton printed by the host.  The other guests were more of a drinking crowd than we are, and kind of loud; we enjoy having a drink but our goal is not to forget how we got there.   Still, everyone was very nice and we had a good time.

The next night, kind of on a whim because we saw a poster, we went to a Diwali celebration.   We didn't know anyone, and people did not seem eager to mingle, so we didn't learn much about the symbolism of the dances and prayer service aside from what I found on wikipedia about this festival of light.   But the people were dressed in beautiful traditional clothing, and we enjoyed the food very much.  We hope to try again next year with a friend of Jack's who normally attends but could not be there this year.

And today we attended a Youth Orchestra concert to listen to, among others, my granddaughter (first chair in the Violin II section, 2nd girl in photo) and my grandson (3rd chair cello, smiling at me).   I loved every minute.  Besides my Grands, I have been watching several other kids in the orchestra develop since they were in first grade, so it is a delight to see them now.

It is unseasonably cold here lately, and I have only seen deer three times, which is not surprising since our usually-jumpable creek is high and not fully frozen yet.   We are getting snow even though the leaves haven't fully fallen yet.   I'm hoping for another warm snap, otherwise it's going to be a mess in the Spring!

This is my birthday month and Jack has been spoiling me with roses and sweets and fruit deliveries from Harry and David.   Being spoiled is not to be under rated.

My Saginaw house was listed and I had a full price offer on it before it was even open for public viewing.   The house passed inspection and now we are waiting for word of the bank appraisal.    If it goes through, we should close on November 29.   If not, we will start the process all over again.  I am ready to be done with it, so fingers crossed.  Besides, there is a LOT of work here on the home front.

The only other news is that I preformed a wedding this weekend, a very nice couple who have been together for 18 years.   The long-time couples, who have already weathered some storms,  are always surprised by how meaningful their ceremony becomes, so they are generally a delight to work with.  This wedding was no exception.  I must say, though, it is the only wedding I've done where I got a standing ovation for my dinner blessing.   What a fun crowd.  :)